Uncertainty – the demon of all fears

So we always consider some things to be better than others. But how objectively do we judge the facets of each is the question here?

In a B-School, everybody puts a lot of emphasis on learning, activity and the placements – without question. But how do we know what is good and what is not? And what if it comes at the cost of one’s mental stability?

These choices can really drive one nuts, the worst part being the uncontrollability of the factors involved. ย Say in placement processes, can you really judge the capability of a person merely by his ability to speak in public, may be some general knowledge and a 20 minutes chit-chat with the individual? It’s important to be able to handle rejections, without having a ounce of doubt about yourself. What we often fail to understand is then is – it may not be our day, it may not be our company.

Talking about my own experience, a dedicated wait of almost 6 months post my sincere shot at the internship for a Pre-placement offer was enough to kill my motivation for any new attempts at all, not mentioning the doubts about my own self cultivated in my mind – about my ability, what I deserve and what I never did, and worse of all – the worries about the future. All this pressure is more than enough to kill your patience and have you doomed in your own world – where the misery of the universe is much more pronounced.

Now I am out in the open and have a new world to look up to, where there is no pressure of placements. However, the repercussions of the choices made do not end here. They stalk you until you have really realised every single con of the option chosen.

And I stand here – with an offer in my hand, having almost the entire college wonder that how this person has managed to get the best offer in the campus. But I have my own qualms to ponder upon – a life far away from everyone I have ever loved and cared about, the relationships I am putting on the edge of a precipice and the high uncertainty that the future holds in this particular case – knowing that anyone who has ever gone into that world hasn’t gotten back.ย The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.

But such is life. You always have to give something valuable away to move ahead. And yet, the question of worthiness remains.

6 thoughts on “Uncertainty – the demon of all fears

  1. There’s great depth in your thoughts, but the last few line made me feel as if I am reading diary of a soldier going to participate in second world war.
    Well written Amisha…

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