BELIEF

A soft breeze brushes my cheeks today,
While I watch fire gushing the blue sky.
Painting it in its golden hues,
Picturesque with the sight of birds flying high.

I stand at the shore and breathe the emptiness in,
Blinking only as the cold water hits my feet. 
A moment of filling my heart up to the brim,
Before I feel the earth slipping underneath.

And exactly like wounds from the truth,
The pit only goes deeper with each wave.
Till the time I make my mind,
Whether standing there, it’s the emptiness I wish to feel,
Or to embrace newness and offer myself a chance to heal.

But all that time that I choose to stand at that spot,
And I feel the sand sweeping from under my feet.
I wonder if I will ever be complete.
And I wonder how you think you can live fulfilled?

They say nothing is perfect
And no one is impeccable. 
Then why do I feel,
That the two of us together were beyond perfect?

You shall smile a lot my child,
And you shall find happiness.
But what you may not find,
Without me is the air filled with bliss.

But next time when I cross your mind,
Know that deprivation of love,
In a life so long,
Is a curse you chose.
And with this, I accept our love’s defeat
Chesting an unconscious heart and a died BELIEF.

An inch lighter

Before I begin to describe,

On what it is today that I want to write.

I will ask you to bear with me

Yet another time.

After all genuine attempts of keeping away,

And of giving you your well deserved space.

I once again knock at your door today,

After what seems like a lifetime away.  

To plead for a thing last.

Free me of all my memories

The ones that make me fly.

And the ones burying me six feet under. 

Free me and I shall erase

All our remains hanging in open space

All the memories I have of you and of us,

And all that binds us in a parallel universe.

What shall remain are the years,

And the life I accept that has been lived once.

I will accept with unwilling open arms,

That what lies ahead are days purposeless,

And a life devoid of its meaning.

With a shame clinging to it for the past deeds,

And a shame in feeling all of this.

But on you, the love of my life,

No burden of it shall ever be implied. 

Albeit without you, I will forever be blind.

And the day shall never again find its light.

Slowly

 

Your mind’s conquest,

And our hearts’ eternal unrest

Go together, hand in hand. 

While the weight of my deeds,

Pushes me deep

Down under at our behest. 

 

And I lie at the rock bottom

Of this ocean called life, 

Almost as if my hands were tied,

Helpless as if buoyancy has tried.

To thrust me back up, 

But hard in my face our memories rub.

 

So I keep right there, making no effort to retreat.

Staying calm, like there’s nothing to achieve.

Slowly suffocating myself, slowly getting numb.

Building castles in air that one day you will come.

And if you don’t,

What good is life anyway.

 

Such is the power of our love

That it has both you and I,

Crying our hearts out in the middle of the night.

While our emptiness eats us from inside,

And we dream of what life could have been like.

 

Heartless lies

Tied in the entrenchments of a restless mind,

There’s blaring darkness hugging blinding light.

The world has become a pursuit of devotion,

Yet in this sham of a life,

All that resides are heartless lies.

 

I think of what we had, 

And it all seems so ethereal,

Always placed love above all,

Yet why is it today so trivial?

 

That you are fine with me giving up on my life, 

Striding forward on the way but killing your love inside? 

I thought I had given in all that it takes, 

But stupid I was to forget,

Love doesn’t provision for mistakes.

Mirrors

You are a dream,
And a feather flying high.
Flashing the gleam of a shooting star,
Your charm embellishes the night sky.

Albeit I can’t say, that with you,
Deep diving into my life,
Are you a wish fulfilled,
Or a dream to stay unrealized?

I see life placing mirrors,
On each street that I pass.
And yet I can’t say, 
Why we are where we are.

Amidst the chaos I brought,
I wonder now what I am not.
Am I who you met?
Or am I who you left?

I no longer know what the mirrors show,
And if any of it is true at all.
You are no longer what you were,
And my ipseity we both don’t recall. 

 

One reflection

 

An innocent one with seven revolutions around the sun,

Always by her mother’s side, never missing a pampering turn.

Brought up with love and unmatched trust,

Honesty, her strong suit, was maybe only on the crust.

 

Days passed by, as if time almost flew,

A heart was broken then, but love only grew.

Her heart it seemed had turned somewhat blue.

It was a spectacular start of something new.

 

Born was a girl who he taught how to love,

She wasn’t it seems what she appeared from above.

Never had she thought what she felt wasn’t enough.

The odyssey to love was probably meant to be tough.

 

Alas, she started with her heart,

But gave up soon after the start.

With love he tried his best to keep them together,

Their love although was as gentle as a feather.

 

They say we are the choices that we make,

She had become someone that she could no longer take.

Confused for love, maybe grief was her fate,

For sins cannot be mistaken for mistakes.

 

His Love

 

A wide eyed dreamer under starlit sky,

Radiates warmth in the world like bright sunshine.

Mature demeanor with the innocent heart of a child,

A behemoth of jealousy on which even God would smile.

 

His eyes would always reflect a twinkle of love,

The sadness underneath is hidden from above.

Questions himself on everything time and again,

Unmatched integrity I bet, like no other man.

 

You look at him and there’s a feeling of content you get.

I hadn’t felt it ever until the time we met.

Some encounters although are shorter than the rest,

Leaving you with most, when it’s the least you expect.

 

Only once in a blue moon, is it a shooting star that we meet.

For the magic that he is, it’s for him my heart everyday beats.

 

Cold Love

 

In open fields under bright sunlight,

I stand still, feeling so blind.

Seeing nothing but the marks,

Testifying of us being profoundly scarred.

 

Tell me today I didn’t love you enough,

That all my promises of truth were a bluff.

Assume all you may, but I know the lord knows,

In my turn, I gave it all.

Things significant and moments small,

In my turn, I gave it all.

 

There’s so much between us that’s left unsaid,

So many things that I have kept to myself.

I fear now if there ever will be a closure,

Thinking my heart is still stuck, even though it’s over.

 

There’s little regret now, for in our love and in our fall,

In my turn, I gave it all.

There’s nothing now that I am left with,

Love or happiness- I don’t know which one’s a bigger myth.

Sparkling Things

There’s no saving from here, there’s no escape.

You don’t leave my mind while this heart feels an immense gape.

 

Did you know that your memories have a specific bling,

Like sprinkled sparkle on everything.

Gleaming and calling at me from all places,

When I am trying hard to not see you in other faces.

 

In bedside drawers and closed cupboards,

Lie our pictures and two slaughtered lovers.

Died who would have to keep with one another,

But promises after all are not that difficult to smother.

 

I am tired and yet I want to keep close,

Each memory strand and every single rose.

That binds us together in a parallel world.

Where I don’t sleep teary eyed with my body curled.

 

 

Together Apart

 

He is the burning sun propelling light into the world,

She absorbs blatant darkness under the day sky.

He feels like kindled coal on a chilly winter night.

She is cold like death in complete vitality of life.

 

He oozes the goodness and purity of fire,

She burns life to the ground like wildfire.

His touch is an absolution from all worldly sins.

She is a reckless soul committing irreversible deeds.

 

He is the solemn promise of an eternity,

She marks the beginning of an end.

In their extremeness, they are differently alike.

In her meaningless life, he is God’s truest lie.

 

For he protects her, like the sky covers this earth.

Never touching her and yet forming her world.