Untouchable

A scanty village and the celestial paradise,

Both separated through just a bridge tonight.

Excited, we run across the lush green field holding hands,

It is on either edge of the bridge that we now stand.

The paths looks narrow and covered in twigs,

Sharp edges and strong words cutting our feet.

We walk through still, though the journey seems tough,

Only till the time I hadn’t gone ahead enough,

So much so that you almost lost the way,

Brewed a hate in your heart that’s now sending me away.

I just wish you had come forward a little,

To find me just as wounded and lost, but now you wouldn’t listen.

So anytime these days our eyes meet from a distance,

I see your gaze but pain slashes though my skin in this instant.

And I am nothing but helpless to wonder,

That even today, I believe I am sole person culpable,

But when was it that to you,  I become untouchable?

I don’t know where I stopped being a human for you,

Like I don’t know where you became inhuman.

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Still in love

The sun to my day and the cool to my mind.

Without you, this world is dark and a place unkind.

For you are the breeze that makes my spirits fly,

Your absence for me means suffocation under wide open sky.

The food to my soul and light to my spirit,

Why shouldn’t I call you the reason of my being.

For without you, this world is an abyss dark,

And I seek solace from every memory, every scar.

That childlike smile, that innocent face,

The seamless ways in which you enter my mind space.

Yes, I am making many attempts to rise above,

But you can’t hate me while I’m still in love.

Far you are from me today, but tell me how I should separate

Your presence from my life, when you are the blood in my veins.

And I ask myself


Recalling the glorious moments you brought to life,
When you pushed me on stage under full limelight. 
Then snapping myself back into the reality of today,
When thinking of our ruins, my fate loses its light. 
And I ask myself,
Are you my deepest fear or my whole might? 

When I am enduring some of my life’s greatest aches,
I think of you and in that second, every physical feeling fades.
And I ask myself,
Are you my pain or my biggest solace?

Crazy I think I always have been, but now I do not feel senile.
With your shadow peeking into my life every once in a while.
I ask myself,
Are you my peace or my restlessness?

With every gentle touch of yours, it was as if I was flying,
Now ingesting your anger, it is as if my body feels uncouth.
And I ask myself,
Are you my purity or a reminder of my sinfulness?

The most fulfilled that I felt of myself was when you held me close,
But that was then and ever since that,
I have not been able to cope with your loss.
So today I ask myself, 
Are you everlasting love or my constant misery?
A streak of happiness or my agonizing pain?
My completion or an eternal promise of desolation?
I guess I will always ask myself. 

An inch lighter

Before I begin to describe,

On what it is today that I want to write.

I will ask you to bear with me

Yet another time.

After all genuine attempts of keeping away,

And of giving you your well deserved space.

I once again knock at your door today,

After what seems like a lifetime away.  

To plead for a thing last.

Free me of all my memories

The ones that make me fly.

And the ones burying me six feet under. 

Free me and I shall erase

All our remains hanging in open space

All the memories I have of you and of us,

And all that binds us in a parallel universe.

What shall remain are the years,

And the life I accept that has been lived once.

I will accept with unwilling open arms,

That what lies ahead are days purposeless,

And a life devoid of its meaning.

With a shame clinging to it for the past deeds,

And a shame in feeling all of this.


But on you, the love of my life,

No burden of it shall ever be implied. 

Albeit without you, I will forever be blind.

And the day shall never again find its light.

When it’s time

 

I dream of the day that I will walk away,

Shedding the pain in my heart along the way.

When your dreams no longer make me cry in my sleep,

And the memoirs become a fond memory from wistful weeps.

 

The day that I find the courage,

To ask you what is going on in your life?

To hug our beloved memories tight,

Before finally keeping our bedside picture aside.

 

That day I will cease to fear,

Any mention of you that I may hear.

And your name will not make my heart race,

The knowledge of our zilch will not halt life’s pace.

 

I will embrace the dissolution of ‘us’,

In the truth of our coexistence in the universe.

It will not mean that I will have you in my heart any less,

Only that I couldn’t bear to keep up with this life and its mess.

On that day, when it is a life devoid of your hope I choose,

I will carefully pack us in a box, with a part of me to forever lose.

 

 

One reflection

 

An innocent one with seven revolutions around the sun,

Always by her mother’s side, never missing a pampering turn.

Brought up with love and unmatched trust,

Honesty, her strong suit, was maybe only on the crust.

 

Days passed by, as if time almost flew,

A heart was broken then, but love only grew.

Her heart it seemed had turned somewhat blue.

It was a spectacular start of something new.

 

Born was a girl who he taught how to love,

She wasn’t it seems what she appeared from above.

Never had she thought what she felt wasn’t enough.

The odyssey to love was probably meant to be tough.

 

Alas, she started with her heart,

But gave up soon after the start.

With love he tried his best to keep them together,

Their love although was as gentle as a feather.

 

They say we are the choices that we make,

She had become someone that she could no longer take.

Confused for love, maybe grief was her fate,

For sins cannot be mistaken for mistakes.

 

Fearless

 

Do you also hear crickets at night?

Amid sincere efforts of catching sleep,

When loneliness hits with all its might.

 

It is then that I miss you the most,

It is then that I feel most shallow.

Loving you for your childlike innocence,

Hating myself for being naive and callow.

 

But when I spent my days in your arms,

It wasn’t that I needed you to fill my day,

We were letting you form and shape,

The person that I am, with love and faith.

 

So I think of you today and I can’t help

but stand still and feel trapped

In a mirage of love we both created,

Though our lifetime together doesn’t seem fated.

 

In these moments of agonizing pain,

I am fearless.

For I can’t imagine feeling any worse,

For the hurt cuts so much,

That it numbs my body and kills my heart,

Doesn’t let me feel and rips my soul apart.