A slight hope

It is an endless road like life’s timeless spree,
The burdens of which don’t set our minds free.
So I have no clue of what is happening now,
Because my heart’s in a constant state of slumber somehow.

Waking me up everyday but without a sense of life,
Feels little, as if I’m sleepwalking in broad daylight.
Though at dusk, I see a spark of light on a dark forest path,
But not a hint of it in my own shallow heart.

That stays lost but with a slight hope,
That someone someday will find me.
And wake me up from this dreadful dream.
Erase all memories, that give and snatch life’s gleam.
Flow my remains, the ashes of our love in a holy stream.
And prepare for my anxious soul to finally rest in peace.

Fallen leaves


You are the light of day and my season of spring,

Without you, life is just a field of fallen leaves.

Like our castles holding the shreds of broken dreams.

I have witnessed love shower eternal peace, and the ultimate anxiety,

So today you are the pit in my stomach and my racing heartbeat.

And while it seems I cannot save the damage a mind does,

What I know for sure, is that our memories shall outlive us.


For if you are the author, I am the book.

If you the mirror, I the look.

We live inseparable in the same space,

You can’t reach nights if I don’t close the day.

So consider this as my tribute to our love,

I raise a toast in thankfulness of thereof.

For you are my wish come true from a shooting star,

A short lived dream, but the best thus far.


Today I owe my happiness, my being to you.

Without you, this life will never hold a meaning true.

Imprints

Everybody we meet and everything we touch is by destiny. Then why does it happen that some experiences are so profound- that they shape us into who we are and become imprints?


Today my eyes open to the golden morning light,

With its softness, warming my heart as I turn sides.

Briefly glancing at the bedside picture, as I acknowledge wake of the day.

My anxiety taking over me that very moment, telling me it’s there to stay.

So I try and gather myself back up, taking steps every day.

But I know consciously that all my actions are to achieve a delay

Of acceptance, that you believe we will never be okay,

Of belief, that I can just not find a way.

And just as I reflect back, it seems

As if life moved forward while time stood still.

My steps are still trying to find a way,

To trace back the path, of your imprints.

Au revoir

For words are said and the verdict made,

For hardly my will can change the fate.

For my doings to us seem irreversible I am afraid,

I guess it’s about time that the price is paid.

This one thing though my rue doesn’t help,

Our innocent hearts are damaged beyond repair.

Little is the chance that we will let anyone touch it,

For that’s where lie protected our fondest memories.

Barring which, unsure I am if there is a life,

Because I know I had never felt so alive,

And for us to to now feel the power of love,

I guess it will be quite long a while.

So since goodbyes are hard, and I didn’t

Think we will break apart.

Must you know that you are engraved in my heart,

So I pull you close and softly whisper, au revoir.

And I ask myself


Recalling the glorious moments you brought to life,
When you pushed me on stage under full limelight. 
Then snapping myself back into the reality of today,
When thinking of our ruins, my fate loses its light. 
And I ask myself,
Are you my deepest fear or my whole might? 

When I am enduring some of my life’s greatest aches,
I think of you and in that second, every physical feeling fades.
And I ask myself,
Are you my pain or my biggest solace?

Crazy I think I always have been, but now I do not feel senile.
With your shadow peeking into my life every once in a while.
I ask myself,
Are you my peace or my restlessness?

With every gentle touch of yours, it was as if I was flying,
Now ingesting your anger, it is as if my body feels uncouth.
And I ask myself,
Are you my purity or a reminder of my sinfulness?

The most fulfilled that I felt of myself was when you held me close,
But that was then and ever since that,
I have not been able to cope with your loss.
So today I ask myself, 
Are you everlasting love or my constant misery?
A streak of happiness or my agonizing pain?
My completion or an eternal promise of desolation?
I guess I will always ask myself. 

An inch lighter

Before I begin to describe,

On what it is today that I want to write.

I will ask you to bear with me

Yet another time.

After all genuine attempts of keeping away,

And of giving you your well deserved space.

I once again knock at your door today,

After what seems like a lifetime away.  

To plead for a thing last.

Free me of all my memories

The ones that make me fly.

And the ones burying me six feet under. 

Free me and I shall erase

All our remains hanging in open space

All the memories I have of you and of us,

And all that binds us in a parallel universe.

What shall remain are the years,

And the life I accept that has been lived once.

I will accept with unwilling open arms,

That what lies ahead are days purposeless,

And a life devoid of its meaning.

With a shame clinging to it for the past deeds,

And a shame in feeling all of this.


But on you, the love of my life,

No burden of it shall ever be implied. 

Albeit without you, I will forever be blind.

And the day shall never again find its light.

RISE

All along the reflections on life,
Rests in me a constant sense of regret.
Like in the midst of perennial loneliness,
I catch the sound of my own footsteps.

I unlock the door and start walking into my hall,
But just as I enter, I hear the emptiness growl.
There is no one to turn to and nowhere to hide,
Wrote my own fate, now there is no turning of the tide.

What I didn’t know back then was that I wasn’t strong, 
Went to a place far off, but it was not where I belong.
I tried to get aside so you could live your life,
But you don’t leave my mind despite all my tries.

I cannot any longer hold back the tears,
Cannot pretend anymore like you are not there.
What I can is to try to pull myself back up,
Stop collecting hopes from our scattered memory crumbs.
To come out of this abyss of lost love,
Accept defeat and yet rise above.


Nothingness

There’s sound of chaos and melody of activity,
And yet what I hear is the echo of my heartbeat.

I look up to see the world, 
But everything is moving so fast. 
I stay still, trying to breathe in, 
But in a jiffy, life marched past.
While I stood right there,
Moving to the rhythm of our dance.

So I snap back in what seems real
this very moment,
And there is nothing that I feel.
I look for you everywhere but
It is as if life itself is concealed.

And just as I happen to grasp,
The meaning of nothingness and its clasp
in my life, I am out like a light,
Standing still yet all stupefied.
That I look at myself, 
And I witness inertness in its full vitality. 

Heartless lies

Tied in the entrenchments of a restless mind,

There’s blaring darkness hugging blinding light.

The world has become a pursuit of devotion,

Yet in this sham of a life,

All that resides are heartless lies.

 

I think of what we had, 

And it all seems so ethereal,

Always placed love above all,

Yet why is it today so trivial?

 

That you are fine with me giving up on my life, 

Striding forward on the way but killing your love inside? 

I thought I had given in all that it takes, 

But stupid I was to forget,

Love doesn’t provision for mistakes.

On the other side


One sunny day on the other side,

I will tell you all about this life.

How difficult at each step this world seemed,

And how unfair I think life has been.


How time and again I trashed an advise so wise,

How on days I didn’t want to open my eyes

Knowing what I would wake up to,

Fearing it wouldn’t be beside you.


How at some point, this life seemed so shallow, 

That to not be found, I got lost in the shadows.

How I dreamt and wished all the time,

Of nothing but to have us aligned.


How I endlessly waited for an afterlife,

Where peace will be the light.

It will be just you and I,

And I’ll tell you all about this life.