Fearless

 

Do you also hear crickets at night?

Amid sincere efforts of catching sleep,

When loneliness hits with all its might.

 

It is then that I miss you the most,

It is then that I feel most shallow.

Loving you for your childlike innocence,

Hating myself for being naive and callow.

 

But when I spent my days in your arms,

It wasn’t like I needed you to fill my day,

We were letting you form and shape,

The person that I am, with love and faith.

 

I think of you and I can’t help

But stand still and feel trapped

In a mirage of love we both created,

Though our lifetime together doesn’t seem fated.

 

In these moments of agonizing pain,

I am fearless.

For I can’t imagine feeling any worse,

For the hurt cuts so much,

That it numbs my body and kills my heart,

Doesn’t let me feel and rips my soul apart.

 

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Cold Love

 

In open fields under bright sunlight,

I stand still, feeling so blind.

Seeing nothing but the marks,

Testifying of us being profoundly scarred.

 

Tell me today I didn’t love you enough,

That all my promises of truth were a bluff.

Assume all you may, but I know the lord knows,

In my turn, I gave it all.

Things significant and moments small,

In my turn, I gave it all.

 

There’s so much between us that’s left unsaid,

So many things that I have kept to myself.

I fear now if there ever will be a closure,

Thinking my heart is still stuck, even though it’s over.

 

There’s little regret now, for in our love and in our fall,

In my turn, I gave it all.

There’s nothing now that I am left with,

Love or happiness- I don’t know which one’s a bigger myth.

Sparkling Things

There’s no saving from here, there’s no escape.

You don’t leave my mind while this heart feels an immense gape.

 

Did you know that your memories have a specific bling,

Like sprinkled sparkle on everything.

Gleaming and calling at me from all places,

When I am trying hard to not see you in other faces.

 

In bedside drawers and closed cupboards,

Lie our pictures and two slaughtered lovers.

Died who would have to keep with one another,

But promises after all are not that difficult to smother.

 

I am tired and yet I want to keep close,

Each memory strand and every single rose.

That binds us together in a parallel world.

Where I don’t sleep teary eyed with my body curled.

 

 

Together Apart

 

He is the burning sun propelling light into the world,

She absorbs blatant darkness under the day sky.

He feels like kindled coal on a chilly winter night.

She is cold like death in complete vitality of life.

 

He oozes the goodness and purity of fire,

She burns life to the ground like wildfire.

His touch is an absolution from all worldly sins.

She is a reckless soul committing irreversible deeds.

 

He is the solemn promise of an eternity,

She marks the beginning of an end.

In their extremeness, they are differently alike.

In her meaningless life, he is God’s truest lie.

 

For he protects her, like the sky covers this earth.

Never touching her and yet forming her world.

Nothing

There are moments in each person’s life,

that decide the course of his happiness.

Defining moments- from where there’s no turning back. 

 

Nobody told me it was difficult such,

That in every breath, you would want to give up.

On everything you have wanted to hold,

On yourself when there’s nothing left to behold.

 

Nobody told me it feels nothing at first.

While one steps onto the ruptured earth.

And just as gravity strikes afoot,

You feel the earth slipping away under your foot.

All efforts to soothe the restlessness pass in vain,

And nothing said or done ever placates the pain.

 

Nobody told me it’s going to be a deep hole,

Sinking once in which, one loses his soul.

With no sense of direction left, nor any goal,

I wish I had lost myself once and for all.

Silhouettes

 

Sitting by the bay underneath a hued sky,

I see my reflection staring back, standing high.

It appears dead dark as a ghost,

A glaring semblance to the color of my soul.

 

As spotless as we all seem on the outer,

Is how unnoticed the dirt on the inside passes.

Cause truth is never as it would appear,

And love is as unbreakable as a mirror is.

 

Albeit there’s a unique solace I feel in the rain,

For it washes away the flinty surface stains.

Bringing out the hidden darkness of the world,

As if uncovering filth under conscience’s cloak curled.

 

But nothing quite wipes the agony away.

It resides deep in me like a man held in chains.

Alive, but feeling only pain.

It’s going to be sometime till I breathe again.

 

One Step Away

Seek happiness, I’ve heard them all say

And here I stand, only one step away.

A step separating us, keeping us

from finding our solacing embrace.

 

We could live the life of our dreams,

And we will be happy so, that the world will be jealous.

If only you could walk the path of forgiveness,

But then I guess, not all have a merciful heart.

 

Amid the feelings of love, I feel this hate,

For the power you hold over me.

How you can make my day,

With just something simple you say.

And how you get my soul restless,

While I stand there and watch, feeling powerless and frail.

 

I don’t know how else to repent now,

I step forward and bow down.

To plead to you to accept,

What you once fought to have kept.

 

We can move ahead now if you haven’t already.

Walk on our dreams and crush them steady.

I can’t promise to get you out of my heart though.

You are engraved in it and the feelings only seem to grow.

 

I shall be quiet to help you get going.

But look into my eyes next time when we meet.


You’ll see a fire implode and we both will witness my fall.

This facade of calmness is a mask after all.