Romantic expectations

They say happiness lies in the smallest of things,

I say the same is home to anxiety too.

And more often than not, we feel willies creeping in,

Taking over us in a jiffy, eating us from within.

And it’s in such instances that I assess,

Whether it is my mistake or regret

To keep hearing those words again,

Letting myself hurt as I move ahead.

And while I stay undeniably glad,

To have lived and owned my choices.

I am also sorry for myself

For one’s respect is fended by oneself.

But amid all this chaos,

if there’s one thing that I have learnt,

It’s that you may break your neck trying,

But it’s still not going to be enough.

An inch lighter – II

A slight hope

It is an endless road like life’s timeless spree,
The burdens of which don’t set our minds free.
So I have no clue of what is happening now,
Because my heart’s in a constant state of slumber somehow.

Waking me up everyday but without a sense of life,
Feels little, as if I’m sleepwalking in broad daylight.
Though at dusk, I see a spark of light on a dark forest path,
But not a hint of it in my own shallow heart.

That stays lost but with a slight hope,
That someone someday will find me.
And wake me up from this dreadful dream.
Erase all memories, that give and snatch life’s gleam.
Flow my remains, the ashes of our love in a holy stream.
And prepare for my anxious soul to finally rest in peace.

Untouchable

A scanty village and the celestial paradise,

Both separated through just a bridge tonight.

Excited, we run across the lush green field holding hands,

It is on either edge of the bridge that we now stand.

The paths looks narrow and covered in twigs,

Sharp edges and strong words cutting our feet.

We walk through still, though the journey seems tough,

Only till the time I hadn’t gone ahead enough,

So much so that you almost lost the way,

Brewed a hate in your heart that’s now sending me away.

I just wish you had come forward a little,

To find me just as wounded and lost, but now you wouldn’t listen.

So anytime these days our eyes meet from a distance,

I see your gaze but pain slashes though my skin in this instant.

And I am nothing but helpless to wonder,

That even today, I believe I am sole person culpable,

But when was it that to you,  I become untouchable?

I don’t know where I stopped being a human for you,

Like I don’t know where you became inhuman.

Fallen leaves

You are the light of day and my season of spring,

Without you, life is just a field of fallen leaves.

Like our castles holding the shreds of broken dreams.

I have witnessed love shower eternal peace, and the ultimate anxiety,

So today you are the pit in my stomach and my racing heartbeat.

And while it seems I cannot save the damage a mind does,

What I know for sure, is that our memories shall outlive us.


For if you are the author, I am the book.

If you the mirror, I the look.

We live inseparable in the same space,

You can’t reach nights if I don’t close the day.

So consider this as my tribute to our love,

I raise a toast in thankfulness of thereof.

For you are my wish come true from a shooting star,

A short lived dream, but the best thus far.

Today I owe my happiness, my being to you.

Without you, this life will never hold a meaning true.

Imprints

Everybody we meet and everything we touch is by destiny. Then why does it happen that some experiences are so profound- that they shape us into who we are and become imprints?

Today my eyes open to the golden morning light,

With its softness, warming my heart as I turn sides.

Briefly glancing at the bedside picture, as I acknowledge wake of the day.

My anxiety taking over me that very moment, telling me it’s there to stay.

So I try and gather myself back up, taking steps every day.

But I know consciously that all my actions are to achieve a delay

Of acceptance, that you believe we will never be okay,

Of belief, that I can just not find a way.

And just as I reflect back, it seems

As if life moved forward while time stood still.

My steps are still trying to find a way,

To trace back the path, of your imprints.

Au revoir

For words are said and the verdict made,

For hardly my will can change the fate.

For my doings to us seem irreversible I am afraid,

I guess it’s about time that the price is paid.

This one thing though my rue doesn’t help,

Our innocent hearts are damaged beyond repair.

Little is the chance that we will let anyone touch it,

For that’s where lie protected our fondest memories.

Barring which, unsure I am if there is a life,

Because I know I had never felt so alive,

And for us to to now feel the power of love,

I guess it will be quite long a while.

So since goodbyes are hard, and I didn’t

Think we will break apart.

Must you know that you are engraved in my heart,

So I pull you close and softly whisper, au revoir.

Ever again

I wonder how it is possible,

To live in worlds two different.

And yet really be nowhere.

How it happens, that I live intoxicated 

in your love that once existed,

Inebriated in your memories

That we both created and celebrated. 

Because where I live, 

I can’t seem to find any of it.

The reassurance of your love

And the comfort in your hug

I  cannot seem to feel again.

Your voice calling out my name

The moments hidden in each photo frame

I cannot seem to forget.

Your cries of love from the other side of the phone

My insensitivity while I was grooving alone

I just cannot seem to forgive.

I am glad

From a street full of clutter and noise that is deafening,

I scamper back to my room and latch myself in.

Leaning next to the window, I glare at the outside tree.

Only to realize – the chaos is me and my own debris.


Tomorrow if you make a trip to my mind,

I wonder how much of confusion you will find.

How I am running backwards to catch what’s no longer mine,

Consciously refusing to accept that you have left me behind.


And it is not as if I don’t know what is true,

Just that it is my life’s solace in reminiscing what is ‘you’.

Keeping your flame alight in my heart,

With each memory trip, burning myself a scar.


Maybe it is not the best thing that I do,

But I am glad that in this, I am not dragging you.

Although amid every wise advice, I only hear your voice,

But I am glad, that atleast you made the right choice.

Still in love

The sun to my day and the cool to my mind.

Without you, this world is dark and a place unkind.

For you are the breeze that makes my spirits fly,

Your absence for me means suffocation under wide open sky.

The food to my soul and light to my spirit,

Why shouldn’t I call you the reason of my being.

For without you, this world is an abyss dark,

And I seek solace from every memory, every scar.

That childlike smile, that innocent face,

The seamless ways in which you enter my mind space.

Yes, I am making many attempts to rise above,

But you can’t hate me while I’m still in love.

Far you are from me today, but tell me how I should separate

Your presence from my life, when you are the blood in my veins.